the happy elephant

Greetings and salutations everyone; one again it is I, Chess the purebred border collie, filling in for the guy I live with, who’s been busy trying to figure out which way is up, as I’ll explain more below. You may remember me from such posts as “Left Alone” and “Another Lonely Day”, among other posts, most of which are not quite as sad as those. He left me alone again today, but not for long, and he brought back food for me. What a hunter, huh? Here I am in a characteristic pose. Characteristically out of focus, too.

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The guy I live with says my mouth is open a lot. (“Whether his mouth be open or shut.”) I’ve said that before, and my reply is still the same. Look who’s talking. Anyway, it was kind of hot today. 87 degrees F (30.5C) and 13 percent humidity. (“Almost up to the limit”, he said, though it felt really dry.)

When he came back from hunting, he said we weren’t going to do anything.  Like we do anything anyway. That suits me just fine.

He was just sitting here doing nothing, when the mail came, and there was a box.

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It had a happy elephant on it.

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It was a box full of bulbs from Janis Ruksans in Latvia, and the guy I live with got pretty excited, like a happy elephant. He likes bulbs a lot. They like him too, which is even better.

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Well, the guy I live with says it’s sometimes hard to tell which end is up with corydalis. Some of the tubers look like little potatoes or Jerusalem artichokes, which you know really aren’t from Jerusalem, but from the Italian girasole, meaning turn toward the sun, a sunflower. (Though in Italy I guess the Jerusalem artichoke is called topinambur.) I certainly wouldn’t face away from the sun if I were a plant. But the guy I live with says some do. Hymenoxys grandiflora, for instance, always faces east. Some botanists call this Rydbergia but it still faces the same way.

Where was I? Oh, the corydalis. The guy I live with says, when in doubt, plant them on an angle, and the plants will figure it out. Sometimes, anyway. They’re going in this garden, which looks fairly empty, but it really isn’t.

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The chicken wire is to keep new plants from being horribly eaten by rabbits. The French scare cat is to scare away anything that needs to be scared. They scared the poop out of the neighbor dog but he’s not a purebred border collie, just a dingbat. I don’t have papers but I’m still a purebred. My parents herded sheep. I sleep on very soft sheets from Pottery Barn, but the guy I live with says they aren’t the most expensive ones, so, really, I’m roughing it.

And next spring, assuming the guy I live with planted the tubers the right way, my garden will be filled with corydalis in April, even if it’s snowing. We’ll both be happy elephants, then. (I’m not sure what that means, but it sounds good.)

I better go now.

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il giardino di leonardo

Hello everyone; once again it is I, Chess the purebred border collie, filling in for the guy I live with, whose brain has been so wracked today that he needs a long period of rest. You may remember me from such posts as “Memory and Desire” and “My Garden in Spring”, among many, many others. Here I am in a characteristic pose, just waiting for my opportunity at the laptop so I can make fun of the guy I live with. He’s a regular Leonardo da Vinci, let me tell you.

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Today the UPS man brought him some plants. This is nothing new, believe me. Here they are.

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The box on the left is from Mountain Valley Growers, and the plants on the right are salvias from Flowers by the Sea. The guy I live with knew what to do with the plants on the right; they’re in pots, and he can figure them out. The stems are kind of twisty because of their trip to him in a box, but they’re such nice plants they’ll recover quickly with the cool nights here.

Look how beautifully these plants are packed. Not to mention grown. Lots of thymes and stuff. He spent about an hour trying to figure out how to get the plants out. I know, spent a lot of thyme, right? Leonardo at work.

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After studying this situation, he thought that what you do is just cut the tape and lift the plants out that way, so he cut the tape and discovered the plants don’t really lift out. He was stymied. I was inside busy guarding the house, but if I had been out on the patio I might have pointed out the pretty obvious holes which were probably put there for a purpose.

Then it dawned on him.

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The holes are for dita, Leonardo; fingers. You put your fingers into the holes and lift out the little trays. Che genio, eh? What a genius.

I could have reminded him of the time the alternator went out on the truck he and my mommy used to own, and Leonardo decided to replace it himself, which isn’t too difficult (so he says), but he spent all day trying to get the new one back in place, and my mommy sat downstairs so she couldn’t hear what he claimed were “car repair expletives”, necessary to help get the (expletive) alternator back in, and this went on for hours until my mommy came out into the garage, snatched the alternator from Leonardo’s dita, took a C clamp and pressed in the little deals which were preventing him from properly fitting the alternator in place, handed it back to him, and walked back inside. The alternator slipped right into place.

Of course, I could have told him leggere le istruzioni, read the instructions, but Leonardo has no use for such things, and didn’t even know there were any. There were.

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That took up most of the day. It’s amazing how little gets done when he spends so much time thinking.

I’ll say addio now; until next time.

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