no one cares but me

Hi, it’s me, Chess, the dog, again. You may remember me from such popular posts as “dogs”, “still no lightbulb”, and “making a list”. Those are the best posts. I took a picture of myself to show how I’m doing, which is fine.


Well, the reason it’s me posting and not the guy I live with is that I’m a border collie, and I know a little bit about obsessive behavior. The guy I live with is really a complete nut, not just kind of one like I said before. So what if he has spring fever, this is no way to act.

He went out earlier–it’s a really nice day–and decided he was going to dig up this cactus and move it. The one with all the white spines. There are two of them, one right next to the other. I think this is going to hurt, a lot.


There definitely is something wrong with him. I’m not going to help, either.

The other thing is that he thinks he’s an Englishman now. He keeps talking about snowdrops and sent off money to get more, even though they almost all look alike. He says they’re all different and the differences are subtle, and “no one cares but me”, but I’m a lot closer to the ground and I say they’re all the same, and I don’t see the point of this at all. He says they’re all the rage in England; I don’t see why they have to be the rage here. He also says that one snowdrop bulb sold for $1,150 for England, so he says his collection “might be worth something someday”.

He already has some snowdrops. See?


Here’s something the guy I live with thinks is really funny. It’s not, but since he has spring fever I’ll show it anyway. Remember how I said one snowdrop sold for all that money, well, he says he found one in his garden that’s going to make him a fortune and we’ll move to California where it hardly ever thunders except in the movies.  I don’t think that’s really true.


I better go now.

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14 Responses to no one cares but me

  1. Cliff Booker says:

    Two thoughts, Bob … Chess may unfortunately have cataracts … and yellow spots would be more acceptable in UK circles.
    I am trying to avoid acquiring any snowdrops whatsoever …

    • paridevita says:

      He can see just fine; he just doesn’t know how to use the macro feature.
      They’re having a snowdrop sale at Myddleton House Gardens weekend after next. Good opportunity to stock up…

  2. Kitt says:

    I might need to get some. Chess, tell that crazy guy to remind me in August when I’m ordering from Brent & Becky’s. He’s a good enabler.

    • paridevita says:

      You do need snowdrops, if you like to see flowers now. Unless there’s a huge pile of snow on the ground, that is.
      I count on them being finished by the second week of March at the latest.
      There are some specialist nurseries where you can buy really expensive ones, too. Unfortunately snowdrops are CITES listed so you can’t import them—even cultivars–without a CITES permit, and fees, which, if you order from the UK, are $97 a bulb. Each.
      Of course, local nurseries sell regular snowdrops, too.

  3. Julie says:

    Chess, I enjoy reading your posts. Delightful. Carry on please. My Border Collies enjoy reading them too… Gardening is one of their favorite pastimes, particularly grass sampling. They would have replied themselves, however it is a bit tough for them to type on my phone. The buttons are too small.

    • paridevita says:

      Thank you. The guy I live with has posted over 250 times, and has only let me post four times. Does that seem fair? Like, he eats 50 pistachios and I only get a couple. I think I should do all the posting, and get all the pistachios, too. After he opens them, I mean.


  4. Peter says:

    Chess, you are, as always, correct. There is something wrong with that guy if he wants to even get near that cactus. Don’t try to stand in his way though because once a gardener gets bent on playing with spiney things it’s difficult to control him. Just be ready with some ether, a rag, and a pair of pliers for removing the spines from his face. The snowdrop issue is further proof of the precarious nature of his mental health. It might be best to call in a professional before it’s too late.

    • paridevita says:

      Ha. The guy I live with is really tough. He might dig up the cactus with just a trowel, and then jump at just the right time. He sometimes yells “timber” but I guess he’ll yell “Cylindropuntia echinocarpa” when it falls. He uses a lot of other words I don’t understand.


  5. Diane says:

    Have I told you lately, Chess, how much I love your posts?????

  6. Pingback: trials and tribulations | the miserable gardener

  7. I just read a book called The Layered Garden which had a nice set of photos about how snowdrops differ from each other. I knew they did but had not seen it laid out so clearly. Good book; I’m going to blog about it when I emerge from my mental fuddle.

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