“like putting shorts on a border collie”

Greetings and salutations, everyone; yes, once again it is I, Mani the rather small purebred border collie, filling in for the guy I live with, and here to bring you the news of the day. Which isn’t really much. You may remember me from such posts as “The Pine Cone Chronicles”, to name just one other cone-related post.

Here I am in an utterly humiliating pose. You can see that I’m feeling much better, though.15062401Guess how easy it was for the guy I live with to put those shorts on me? He now has a saying, “like putting shorts on a border collie”, which he says is like trying to brush the teeth of a crocodile. He’s never tried that, but it probably fits.

Which the shorts didn’t, and so they didn’t stay on very long. The way I saw it, considering the amount of time it took him to get the shorts on me, compared to how easily they came off, he would have saved himself a lot of time just by not doing it at all.

Of course I refused to actually pose with them on. You would have, too.

The only other thing I have, since most of the day was spent trying to get a pair of shorts on me, is what happened this afternoon.

And then it stopped, and now it’s really cool inside the house. And then it started again. I didn’t realize that all it ever did was rain, but then, as you know, I’m kind of new here.

I guess I’ll let you go. Until next time, then.

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24 Responses to “like putting shorts on a border collie”

  1. Tracey says:

    I expected either a Black Watch or a Stewart tartan, not light blue. You look much happier than in previous pictures so the shorts must have perked you up. At least your life is never dull.

    • paridevita says:

      Thanks; well, the guy I live with said that that was all they had, but then, he stopped at a drug store to get them. I think what perked me up is all the exercise I got when he tried to put them on me.

  2. petabunn says:

    Mani I have to admit I did have a chuckle at the thought of most of the day trying to get those ‘blasted’ shorts on you just so they could come of pretty quickly. Surely your guy could have at least got you more stylish board shorts so you didn’t have to look quite so… and it is raining after all so you would have looked the part.

    • paridevita says:

      The guy I live with said he got what he got, which is pretty intelligent, huh. He considered using briefs, since he has those on hand. Speaking of briefs, I get pills, you know, and one, a Tramadol, tastes really icky, and he “hides” in bread so I won’t notice it …..but tonight, I got this sticky but slippery stuff that I spit out on the floor, and looked at for a little bit, thought about it some, and then tried it again, and it was really, really good. There was a pill in it but I didn’t care. The guy I live with said it was called “Brie”.

  3. Barb K says:

    Oh, the Brie comes out finally! Well you certainly deserve it if you have to take Tramadol. I know that’s for pain since the girls got it after their similar procedures. Is there any clothing item that wouldn’t be made more wearable if it came with a taste of Brie?

    • paridevita says:

      Brie-flavored shorts? Or, no, getting Brie because I wear shorts. Well, for one thing, they were men’s size medium, and I’m border collie, size little. The guy I live with said the drug store didn’t have any boxer shorts in border collie size little, and anyway, they would have to be for a border collie, not a boxer. …

  4. gardenhope says:

    Awe Mani, sorry you didn’t like the boxers. I was starting to anticipate a brief fashion show. Anyway, soon the whole cone ordeal will be over.

  5. vivianswift says:

    Mani, I hope you’re practicing your new “Please may I have some Brie” sad puppy look because from now on, you’re going to need it. And maybe some suspenders would have helped keep those shorts on…criss-crossed in back and front, being as you don’t have what can be strictly called “shoulders”.

    My favorite simile for impossibility came from, I believe, Wodehouse: …like trying to stuff a cloud into a suitcase. I write for a living and I confess that I am tempted to steal that line at least once a week. Someday, if you ever read something I wrote which contains the line “like trying to put shorts on a border collie”, please know that it is in homage to your superior and unique way with words, and not plagiarism. HOMAGE.

    • paridevita says:

      That would be okay. The guy I live with as borrowed (with credit, though) Raymond Chandler’s “as inconspicuous as a tarantula on a slice of angel food” from time to time, so borrowing is okay, but we don’t need any credit. Maybe it would turn into what they call a meme. Chess, whom you pretty much knew, would have let shorts be put on him, but Flurry, whom you didn’t, and who lived to be 17, would have totally chomped the guy I live with, because he was really old and when you get that old, you get to be cranky. The Brie was really excellent, and I think I get to have some more in just a few minutes.

  6. bittster says:

    Good to hear you’re doing better and I hope that silly come comes off soon. What people do in the name of fashion!
    Brie is a sensible reward though. I’m glad more is in its way.

    • paridevita says:

      Thanks; the cone is really icky, especially since it’s been so humid (for us). Brie is really excellent, and I’m not hoping that the guy I live with will explore the world of cheeses with me. I read about something called “Stilton” and that sounds out of this world.

  7. carol says:

    bob – idea put a t_shirt on his hind legs and tie it

  8. Mark Mazer says:

    Do you sew? Velcro them undies to a thundershirt, Poor thing.

  9. Knicky Twigs says:

    Incredibly cute! And yes, the world of cheese is vast and yummy.

    • paridevita says:

      Thanks, I agree. I hear the world of cheese is indeed, large, and there’s a Whole Foods very close to us. I’m going to make a list, and then check it twice.

  10. Oh, cute puppy! I would’ve had those shorts on you in half a mo; of course, the preferred method involves double lap-sit tummy-tickling. Then again, how much do you weigh now?
    The suggestion of board shorts is brilliant, little boy board shorts is IT. Is your area, Mani, deficient in surf shops? Certainly, you have enough water around.
    You have awakened in me a deep need for brie. I must go in search.

    • paridevita says:

      Thanks; Brie is pretty good. We don’t have surf shops here but maybe we’re going to need them. The guy I live with says he’s very tired of the relentless severe weather, darkness, and humidity. And that no one cares what he thinks. (Like that’s ever been the case.) Though I must say that he figured out what was driving me crazy and he fixed that; I had some matted hair, and he took care of that. I weigh 32 pounds, with cone. He’s going to call my doctor tomorrow to make sure I’m scheduled to have my horrible stupid uncomfortable icky humiliating ridiculous cone off on Saturday. Which I hear is two days from now.

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