“in the electric heat hypnotised”

Hello everyone, once again it is I, Chess the purebred border collie, filling in for the guy I live with. You may remember me from such superior posts as “Disgrace of the Week” and “Last Seen Wearing”.

It is extremely hot. I’m so hot I’m starting to wonder why the guy I live with hasn’t bought an air conditioner for me. Yesterday, on our afternoon walk, it was so hot the guy I live with thought I was going to collapse, and asked me if my paws were burning on the canal road. I think they were.

Here I am looking just about as sad as a border collie can look. It’s 93 degrees and 13 percent humidity. Yes, I know it can get hotter here.

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The guy I live with has been brushing me to get rid of my undercoat, and soaking me with the hose, and he says that Denver Water has lifted their Stage Two drought restrictions and so maybe, just maybe, he’ll set the sprinkler long enough so that I can play in it.

He could also buy me a swimming pool. Not that I would necessarily use it, but it would be a nice gesture. Maybe an inflatable one. The guy I live with talks about how he can still smell what inflatable swimming pools smelled like about 1956. Isn’t that interesting. I’m really, really, really hot, and I don’t much care about 1956. And I can quote T.S. Eliot and not spell hypnotized like an American, which Eliot technically was, but didn’t want to be. I’m a border collie and I don’t want to be so incredibly hot, so I can understand that.

Oh, there is gardening of some sort going on. The guy I live with says he’s thinking about gardening. He’s thinking. Look out, right? He showed a picture of this cypress back when it was in the greenhouse at Timberline, and now it’s here. The cypress, not the greenhouse.

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There are already a lot of cypresses here, but I guess another one was needed. There are several Arizona cypresses, some small

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and some not so small

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and they’re all variety arizonica, or so he says. He claims that you can tell by the bark.

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I can tell a lot of things by the bark, but nothing to do with cypresses. Anyway, the one in the pot. It’s Cupressus montana from Baja California. That’s right, Baja California. It’s been hardy at Denver Botanic Gardens for quite some time. The guy I live with says it’s going in the “Baja California Garden”, but he didn’t show me where that is. I didn’t know we had one.

Some botanists call this cypress Cupressus arizonica var. montana, but the guy I live with says that takes all the fun out of it.

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Well, according to Mr. Wolf, Cupressus montana is confined to the Sierra San Pedro Martír in Baja California, and “although it is not common over the whole area, yet in certain localities it is by no means rare, some of the small canyons at an altitude of 2,200 to 2,400 meters supporting considerable stands of this cypress.” The key distinguishes this species thusly: “ovulate cones opening soon after maturity (same fall or winter) and shedding their seeds which are strictly non-glaucous.”

Okay then. It must be different.

I’m not sure how he plans to get this little tree over the winter, because quite often  little cypresses are badly damaged in winter, and rarely recover, whereas much larger, healthy ones are no problem. He says he might bring it in for the winter until it gets bigger. He also says that the bigger the plant, the more resources it has to keep it alive after a rough winter. We’ll see what happens.

Right now it’s hard to imagine that there is such a thing as winter. It’s still really hot.  I don’t know why it has to be so hot, but the guy I live with says it just does.

He felt sorry for me and gave me a biscuit. That changed my mood a little.

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Here’s hoping it cools off in the next few days like they say it will, but without any scary thunder.

 

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last seen wearing ….

Hello everyone, it is I, Chess the purebred border collie, once again. You may remember me from such utterly delightful posts as “Stinker’s Revenge” and “Disgrace of the Week”. If not, I suggest you go back and read those, to get an idea of what a border collie can contribute to our modern lifestyle. Here I am looking quite agreeable. There’s a reason for this, which I’ll get to in a minute. Today’s post, by the way, doesn’t have very much gardening in it.

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It was really hot today. Like 95 degrees and eleven percent humidity. Hot. The guy I live with said it could have been hotter, and the humidity could have been higher, which would no doubt have made me even more miserable than I was today. He said something about “dry heat”. I think it’s dry heat inside the oven, too, but I don’t want to be in there, so I don’t understand what he was talking about.

The guy I live with didn’t do much gardening today. He might not have done any, actually. He did take a picture of part of the garden to give a sense of the sun and heat.

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That’s Verbascum densiflorum in front there. That’s the gardening bit for today. One picture.

Well, there are other things in life besides gardening. This is where I introduce the Philosophical Corner, and at the same time have a little bit of fun at the guy I live with’s expense. I don’t think he minds that much.

For about a month now, he’s been fretting about having to renew his driver’s license. (He’s getting old.) He kept putting it off, and he claimed that it was because he didn’t want to be down at the DMV (Department of Motor Vehicles) while I was in the house and it was thundering outside. That sounded really altruistic and stuff, but really, he was just putting it off. They call that procrastination, which is from the Latin word cras, meaning tomorrow. I never think about tomorrow, and I know the guy I live with doesn’t either, so I don’t know why he didn’t just go do it.

Today he decided to. First he called his sister and left a message saying that if he wasn’t heard from in several days, he was standing in line at the DMV, and that I needed to have breakfast and my dinner was served at 3:47 p.m. Not 3:48 mind you. And I went on walks twice a day and slept on Pottery Barn sheets with the fan blowing cool air all over me. And got hosed off if it was hot.

I didn’t much care for the idea of “several days”, since I need breakfast every morning, and I can’t open the back door by myself. But I had this idea that someone would come to rescue me, since I am notoriously agreeable.

Anyway, he went. I think there was a tear of farewell in his eye. I know he doesn’t mind standing in line, since he isn’t anyone special, and doesn’t think he is (though I like him), but he does miss doing these things with my mommy. They did everything like this together. And now he had to do this alone. He had visions of Patty and Selma waiting for him behind the counter. He told me he might be gone for a long, long time.

An hour later, he was back home. The whole thing took eight minutes. Eight minutes. And everyone there was extremely nice.

Pretty funny, huh?

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Next time, more gardening, less philosophy.

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