satisfaction guaranteed or your money back

I returned the light bulb and got the correct size. I also bought furnace filters, the right size. I even remembered to put them in the car.

This is a big deal for me. For one thing, I have a history of not wanting to go back and get something I left behind, probably because when I was about seven my whole collection of Tinker Toys was left in a box on top of the car after a day at the beach, and as we drove away, I could hear the Tinker Toys clatter onto the asphalt. My mom said we were not going back to get them, no matter what, and the sense that it might be slightly embarrassing to stop all the traffic to pick up a bunch of little wooden things has stayed with me for over half a century.

In the same way, I rarely return things to stores. I’m a timid consumer, so it was an unusual experience to exchange a light bulb that cost $3.49 for another one.

I wonder what gardening would be like if people returned plants because they weren’t hardy, were wrongly named (spelling doesn’t count, even though, rose people, it’s ‘Rose de Resht’, with no C anywhere), needed ten times more water than the label claimed, and so on.

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“Said of habitats“. (This is from Benson’s Cacti of the United States and Canada.) Habitats, not gardens where they “hardly ever water.” Using the word to mean watering in a garden is like a politician talking about “too much government” or “more freedom”. I want to know where a plant grows in the wild, and what the climate is there, not how little someone, somewhere, might be watering it and what this person’s unique definition of “watering” is.

I wouldn’t return those plants anyway, because they’re plants, for one thing, and for another, once you start buying unusual plants, some research would be a good idea. Research first, then purchase, I mean.

Knowing how big the plants really get might be a help.

I thought the “desert bamboo” sounded nice when I bought it. It is nice, really, but not quite as small as I pictured it would be; had I access to Flora of China at the time I might have reconsidered.

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And then there’s this ugly thing. For some reason I thought Pinus uncinata was going to be a cute dwarf, like a mugo but with hooked somethings (needles?); instead it wants to be 300 feet tall and hates the pruning I do to try to keep it dwarf. The long, wavy branches are hideous. I could have looked this up, too.

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Now this is my idea of living up to advertising. Daphne × transatlantica ‘Alba Everblooming’. The Cistus catalog  says “this white flowered form of the nearly everblooming daphne is easy and satisfying to grow”. Well, it is. And as it evident, it’s blooming now, and that makes me happy. Everything should be like that.

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too much sun, but there’s always too much sun.

Contrary to my expectations, the light bulb fit into the weird socket just like it was supposed to, and didn’t blow up when I plugged it in and turned it on. I can see now.

The dog is staring at me again, and things are pretty much back the way they were.

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still no lightbulb

Hi. It’s me, the dog, again. The guy I live with is busy staring off into space; I guess he’s trying to figure out how to get a light bulb for his light. It got worse last night when he discovered a note that said “20 x 20 x 1”, which was to remind him of the filter size he needs for the furnace. He’s gone to the hardware store several times to get a filter, along with the light bulb of course. He always comes home with stuff from the hardware store, but never a furnace filter or a light bulb.

Between you and me, I think the guy I live with is kind of a nut. He’s really nice and all, and I know he misses my mommy a whole lot, but he keeps writing these notes to tell himself what to do, and then he loses the notes. I would tell him to write a note telling him not to lose notes, but I don’t think that would help.

Since the guy I live with is kind of useless right now, what with all the note writing and staring into space, I took some pictures of my garden that you might like to see.

I go in here. I’m pretty sure I’m not supposed to, but the guy I live with has never said anything. Look how messy it is anyway. I know what “get out of the garden” means, but he’s never said that. It could be I wasn’t listening.

This is where the bunnies sneak into the yard. The guy I live with puts down a board over the hole they dig, and so they dig another hole. Bunnies are smart, too.

This is where bunnies lie down for their naps.

This is a trap on the path. The guy I live with said it would “take care” of the bunnies and squirrels that he says are supposed to be in someone else’s back yard. I remember my mommy asking him if the trap wasn’t set, how would anything be caught, and the guy I live with said it was just to scare them.

I don’t think it works.

This is scary. I stay away from these. Most of them are in the front yard, where I never go, but some are back here.

These are the troughs on the south side of the house. The fence shades them. There used to be one more, but Slipper, who was naughty, stood on it to see if he could see over the fence, and the trough broke. Slipper was okay, and the guy I live with didn’t say anything, because he realized he’d balanced it on two upright cinder blocks instead of putting them hortizontally like a normal person would.

This is scary too. There are two metal things that keep me from walking into this. You can see part of one of them. I think the little yucca is called Yucca nana, and the agave is Agave toumeyana var. toumeyana. (I told you I was smart.)

There are cactus hidden in the buffalograss. The guy I live with says it looks natural, but I think it’s scary.

This isn’t so scary. This is Opuntia basilaris var. brachyclada, I think.

Remember I said my buddy Slipper was really naughty? This was a path no one was supposed to go on except the guy I live with, and my mommy when she was weeding (I’d sit right next to her then and she never told on me), but Slipper, since he was naughty, decided it would be a good path for him, so it was made into a path for everyone.

This is the shortcut Slipper made when he ran out to the back fence. We all thought it was really, really naughty at the time, but the guy I live with put down a bunch of rocks, and said it looked natural (he keeps saying that all the time), and we all decided we liked it, so Slipper wasn’t being naughty, he was being a designer.

This is looking the other way. The guy I live with says this is what natural looks like.

This looks funny because it is. This is where my buddy Slipper did his butt dance. His rear end, on his back anyway, itched a lot, I guess, and he would scratch it on the pine tree and do a funny dance with his hind legs, so the branch was left this way. I never tried it.

I guess I’ll go to the hardware store tomorrow with the guy I live with, and if he comes back to the car without the light bulb and furnace filters, I’ll nip him. I do that sometimes because it’s my job to keep him in line.

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