Greetings and salutations, everyone; yes, once again it is I, Chess the purebred border collie, filling in for the guy I live with, and here to bring you the latest frigid news from our garden. You may remember me from such equally frigid posts as “A Cold, Cold Day”, among so many others.
Here I am in a characteristic pose. “Characteristically spoiled”, says the guy I live with, who thinks wanting another biscuit while a half-eaten one is lying on the floor is a bit much. This is really my Hopeful Pose. Charmingly Hopeful Pose. 
But of course it isn’t spoiled at all, is it?
Anyway, hardly anything is going on, so we’re only “semi-communicado”, according to the guy I live with. “Neologisms a specialty”, he says. Capricious logodaedaly, I say. I mean, really. Semi-communicado?
This is why, of course.
More air from Canada. It’s much colder than it looks out there, and so if it looks cold, just think much colder, and you might get the idea.
This cold.
Well, so what do we do when it’s this cold? We still go on walks, because they’re important to me, though my arthritic hind legs don’t let me go very far, but if the sidewalks were all shoveled I could walk pretty far on concrete (I slipped on the ice a couple of times, but I’m okay). They aren’t, so I don’t.
We mostly just kind of sit here. The DVD player is broken and the guy I live with is too lazy to get another one. He does check the irises from time to time. (Like, constantly.)
Here are some in the upstairs bedroom. This is Iris lortetii with some other species. 
That’s really it. He goes and checks the irises, then checks them again, and then takes a nap. I like that part; the afternoon nap. We do some other things, but they’re not that interesting, like running the vacuum (he does that), and thinking about stuff (I do that). But not much else.
Until next time, then.
the miserable gardener 
Who is a clever boy now, the poses always work and you always get what you want (as it should be). Yes it does look very cold in your garden, but beautiful also. Who is at the window begging to come in, is it Earl, I hope he has a cosy nest somewhere. Good to see the progress of the irises however boring it might be to you. Now you don’t have much else to do, with shorter walks and no DVD you just have to pretend to be interested. Keep snug and cosy and cute Chess and be extra careful on your walks.
It is indeed very cold, supposed to be about –20C tonight, which is definitely cold. I don’t know who that was at the back door, but I didn’t like it. Though, one funny thing, the guy I live with never noticed the markings on the door before, and he’s lived here since 1985. The squirrels do have nice nests, or drays, up in the locust tree, though I don’t think they have central heating or a humidifier or get tucked under the covers at night like some of us do.
You can bet that squirrel, Chess, knows exactly how *cold* it is outside and has a strong suspicion how cozy it is inside. The inside with central heating and a humidifier and Pottery Barn second best sheets. The inside with biscuits on demand – we call them crackers around here, but they look the same as your biscuits. A difference in nomenclature, but not to the point of logodaedaly, I believe. Those tiny seedlings show such a hopeful green, *of course* they must be checked constantly. Just because. Especially with that depth of snow blanketing the garden outside.
Oh, Chess, the third “you” photo! Quick, The Guy, give the beguiling Border Collie one more biscuit. Then go shovel the sidewalk until time to check the iris again.
Yes, well, something happened to one of the Pottery Barn sheets. It got ripped, because there was a piece of mattress spring sticking out where it shouldn’t have been. It’s an old mattress. I know how that sounds. My bed is two old mattresses lying on the floor. It was a second bed in case someone was sick or something, but now it’s my bed and I let the guy I live with sleep in it too, though occasionally one of the springs pokes out of the mattress and that’s how the sheet got ripped. We have another set, though. The guy I live with and my mommy had different priorities from a lot of people. You can see that in the last picture, and the batterie de cuisine; the plastic bag is a classy cover for the KitchenAid mixer. Same with my bed. The guy I live with says there’s no point in shoveling the walk because it’s going to snow more. This is our coldest time of the year, in general, and there are actually maps put out by the NOAA that show that here, whereas in the east it tends to be January or even February. But a foot of snow is more like March, April, or May, or used to be. Oh, he says to google Iris lortetii (using the two Is at the end which is correct), look at images, and maybe people will see what all the fuss is about. People think he’s crazy until they see what he’s talking about. Sometimes, anyway.
Beguiling, that’s it. I couldn’t think of the word I wanted to describe you in the last pic Chess, thanks rcg.
Thanks, yes, beguiling, that’s me to a T.
You are so cute that you deserve unlimited biscuits. I’m sure that the squirrels are being well fed by TGYLW. Have you considered a Netflix streaming subscription? It is cheap and TGYLW can watch on his computer. I highly recommend the British shows on it.
Thanks, I agree with the unlimited biscuits business. And maybe some of the cheese dip that came home today, along with my icky canned prescription food. The guy I live with watches Poirot, Endeavour, Morse, Inspector Lewis, Seinfeld, Friends, Frasier, and, of course, The Big Bang Theory over and over again on the DVD player, but he can take some time out. So he says.
Happy New Year, you guys! And thanks for all the great posts. Chess, your ossumocity knows no bounds. Best wishes from SoCal, where the A. gypsophila is wrapped in a quilt as we anticipate snowdrifts of up to an inch. Donner Party weather [shivers].
Thanks; same to you. Snowdrifts of up to an inch, eh? The temperature here is about 1 (reminding the guy I live with of the scene in Planes, Trains, and Automobiles), but everything is snug under a blanket of snow.
Will the “Most Beautiful Iris In The World” ‘hit it off’ with the -20C?
Excellent question. The guy I live with thinks Yes, because of the very dry soil, and also because hybrids of the Levantine species (hybrids with other species from the same habitats) have overwintered here for a long time, but there are killjoys who say No. The Levantine ones will stay in pots for a while anyway. By the time they’re ready to flower he’ll be so old he won’t notice anything, I bet. Seed is very hard to come by and he was fortunate enough to be given some old seed which turned out to be viable. (The seed he got from the 60s and 70s wasn’t, though. Very sad.) It’s a “lonely and esoteric” pursuit, which seems suitable. (Incidentally, if you’re interested, you can google “silken sad uncertain queens” and there’s a PDF of an article all about these irises written by the late Jim Archibald, who collected the seed the guy I live with was given of the hardy species, about 2000 or 2001.)
Happy New Year to you and your guy Chess….
Thanks; same to you. It’s still 2014 here. (The guy I live with thought it was 2013 for most of the year.)